Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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