i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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