You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
