do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
