I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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