Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
