Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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