Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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