I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
