Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
