Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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