why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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