yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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