come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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