Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
