also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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