when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
The best revenge is premature balding
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
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