people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
