I just made out with a guy for $7.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
