So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
