i need an iv and a liver transplant
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
