How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
