Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
