you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
