There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
