Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
