I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
