I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
