As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
