you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
