I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
