what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
