dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
