goodnight i made you a song goodbye
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
