Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
