if you like me you must not know who I am
if i died would you start the facebook group?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
