I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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