and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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