i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
