shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
