I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
