i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
