its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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