based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
