it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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