All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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