Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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