One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
