so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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