If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
