And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
