We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
