Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize