well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
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