? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
