Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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