i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
