Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
