my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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