You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Randomize
