Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
