to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
