If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
