Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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