I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Bring me that man meat
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
